The day my little boy wore some makeup
My one-year-old is a little sponge. He repeats actions he sees and sounds he hears. He likes to “buhsh-buhsh-buhsh” his teeth, a ritual he insists upon after he observes me and my Oral-B. He also makes a Ya-hoo!/ Lasso-ing motion with his right hand when he rides the rocking bull toy he received for his birthday, a motion he picked up from yours truly. When my wee boy sees someone with crackers, cheese, water, etc., he’s reminded of his belly, and extends an arm for edibles too.
Posted Oct. 6, 2011
My one-year-old is a little sponge.
He repeats actions he sees and sounds he hears. He likes to “buhsh-buhsh-buhsh” his teeth, a ritual he insists upon after he observes me and my Oral-B. He also makes a Ya-hoo!/ Lasso-ing motion with his right hand when he rides the rocking bull toy he received for his birthday, a motion he picked up from yours truly. When my wee boy sees someone with crackers, cheese, water, etc., he’s reminded of his belly, and extends an arm for edibles too.
So when he sees me ready myself in the morning, a procedure including hair dryers, flat irons and Mary Kay makeup, he watches and holds out his hand — indicating NOWNOW, give it to me NOW.
One time he saw me applying foundation, so I gave some to him too. Not really. I just pretended to put it on his beautifully unblemished skin.
And that appeased him.
I hadn’t thought about it much until I read this post by Rebecca Woolf of Girls Gone Child (http://bit.ly/nrFS0f).
But now that I think of it, I just sorta put makeup on my one-year-old son. Should I be concerned?
Because if I should, I’m not.
Woolf wrote about the importance of complimenting girls and encouraging them to do what makes them feel good. If that’s wearing sparkly shoes, do it. If it’s talking about classic literature, great! If you can do both at the same time, BOO-freaking-YA, she says.
The impetus of her argument was this piece in the Huffington Post (http://tinyurl.com/69hxdos) about the harm in complimenting young girls on their appearance and likened a simple “Cute dress” or “Pretty hair”-type commendation to buying a one-way ticket to plastic-surgery-ville. Although I did appreciate the post’s suggestions of how to steer the conversation towards more intellectual topics like “what are you reading?” “what do you think of ____” and “why is this important?”
Well, my question is: what about boys? What about their self-esteem and their mental health?
Do the same rules still apply? My kid has blue eyes wider than the North Dakota skyline. All people compliment babies, but it’s almost annoying with my little one. Seriously, I get jealous. (What about MY blue eyes??)
So does complimenting his appearance have the same effects as complimenting those of his female counterparts? Or do we naturally compliment other aspects of young boys, like their strength, bravery, etc., so the effects aren’t as severe?
People have strong reactions to these sorts of concerns with stereotypically girl-type things and little boys. The story of a kindergartner dressed as Scooby Doo’s Daphne (“My son is gay” 11.2.10 by Sarah of Nerdy Apple Bottom, http://bit.ly/nqEbPF) for Halloween went viral about a year ago.
For me, it was a harmless stroke of a makeup brush on one day of his 381. Besides, if I didn’t let him have it, he’d only want it more. And while I’ll allow my son to wear makeup once in a while, him acting diva is out of the question.
So, what do you think?
Ryan-Anderson is a reporter at The Jamestown Sun and blogs about parenting at parventing.areavoices.com
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